Rape a Child -- Receive a Pell Grant
"Yes sir."
"Well, I was reviewing the text of this act, and I was wondering, if I get convicted of possessing a marijuana cigarette, does this mean I will lose all my federal financial aid to go to college?"
"Yes sir, you will."
"Okay. Well suppose I'm convicted of ... oh, I don't know... raping and murdering a child. Can I still get financial aid for school?"
"Um ... er... Yes sir, you can. I can already see where you're going with this. It doesn't sound like equal justice."
"No sir, it sure doesn't."
"Well, we don't want federal tax dollars going to support the drug habits of students."
"When you say 'habits', does that include alcohol?"
"No."
"Tobacco?"
"No."
"How about prescription drugs?"
"No."
"Gambling?"
"No."
"Pornography?"
"No."
"Prostitution?"
"No."
"Kiddie porn?"
"No."
"Junk food?"
"No, only illegal drugs. We have a real problem with public funds buying illegal drugs."
"I can understand that perspective. But you have no problem with federal tax dollars going to purchase the knife, rope and duct tape the predator will use on his next victim? No problem with buying videotape for the child pornographer?"
"Um ... Okay. I see your point."
"I have just one final question. Do you think that cutting off access to education is an effective way to deal with drug abuse and addiction?"
"No. No sir, I don't. But I can't speak for the senator."
"Well do you think you could speak to the senator?"
"Yes, sir. That I can do."
Needless to say, Chris Largen never received a response from Senator Hutchison's office. Please feel free to repost this document far and wide.
